I have a little secret to share…
And it’s not the ultimate one-exercise-technique that will get rid of your lack of self-confidence, sorry!
The secret is quite simple; it’s that the person who wrote this article is not that DIFFERENT FROM YOU…
15 years ago, I didn’t have confidence myself, and if you knew me back then, it was only a matter of time before you noticed. From the way I expressed myself, the way I walked, the way I talked, and the way I acted. You may have even told your friends that I was socially awkward.
I heard so many comments about it that I decided one day I needed to do something about it.
I tried to look for every possible way to overcome this lack of confidence.
I learned many things, I even noticed some improvement. I read books, I listened to audios, I watched videos, I went to seminars and tried to apply most of the things I learned.
But I was never able to fully gain the confidence I sought…
Until one day, I had discovered why I had been pushing up against a stone.
See, I always communicate that you need to make mistakes in order to better yourself. And believe me my friend, I made tons of mistakes, and the path was long and winding. Despite that, I am trying to help you with a shortcut, to improve more quickly and easily than I did.
It’s my way of “paying it back”, and showing how grateful I’m to all the mentors who have helped me and paved the way for me. Now, it’s my turn!
I prefer to be sincere with you. Rather than making you think that by simply reading this article, and applying a few pieces of advice, you will never have a lack of confidence anymore!
Though, reading this article would be a first step in the right direction.
BUT THAT’S NOT ALL!
Let me explain. How about we discuss the two principal sources of self-confidence: psychology and self-help (self-improvement)?
Psychology is the science of mind and behavior. Psychology includes the study of conscious and unconscious phenomena, as well as feelings and thoughts. It helps you understand the origins of your problems. But you know what; it doesn’t give you the practical tools to overcome the problem.
Richard Bandler, the father of neurolinguistic programming (NLP) said that one day he visited a friend’s house who happened to be psychologist. He had noticed his bookshelf was full of all types of books related to psychology. He admitted some of those books were very interesting. But there wasn’t a single book on what to do exactly!
The problem is that psychiatry’s main objective is to treat psychological troubles like schizophrenia, depression and OCD. But when it comes to light stress, anxiety, insomnia, or lack of self-esteem, psychiatry has little to offer. The solutions offered in the first case are useless in the second case. Freud even claimed that studying a person with psychosis would help in understanding people without psychosis. In my humble opinion; it’s the opposite that is true!
The solutions that psychology, psychiatry, and psychotherapy have to offer (with all due respect) are little in terms of significant treatment. In most cases, you will be in long-term therapies that may last weeks, and even months. In the case of psychiatry, solutions such as antidepressants or anti-insomniatics are added. The medication treats the symptoms, but never the real problem.
According to David Deangelo, people, and specially women go to a therapist just to have someone listen and say, “I understand what you feel.”
On the other hand, self-help for the most part, offers us fast, simple and useful techniques like this article show:
But what’s missing with self-help in my opinion, is going to the source of the problem where psychology helps us understand the origin of the problem. Still, psychology lacking practical how-to solutions that self-help offer.
I refer to this in an article:
Now, the first question is how to be confident? I combined both sources: psychology and self-help along with spirituality to arrive at the answer. Here’s the first part of the answer that will probably surprise you!
WHEN YOU WERE BORN, YOU WERE PERFECT!
You’re shocked, right?
I have a quick question: How do you feel when you see a baby? Look at this picture and tell me what you feel!
Happiness? love? Compassion? Confidence? Excitement?
That’s right, emotions are CONTAGIOUS!
A baby is always HAPPY; He does not need success or possession to be happy.
A baby is always CONFIDENT. He expresses what he wants no matter what. He expresses his emotions; when he is afraid he cries. When he is hungry, he screams. He doesn’t give a damn about what others think or say about him.
He’s honest. He doesn’t know how to lie. He doesn’t judge others by the color of their skin, their social class, or their religion.
A baby can teach you a lot of things…
This baby was you a longtime ago. It’s the reason why we speak about your inner-child, your true-self, your source.
Therefore, the role of our parents is to preserve this source. But our parents are not perfect. They make mistakes.
THE EDUCATION THAT YOUR PARENTS GAVE YOU. Believe it or not, it’s where this lack of confidence comes from. If you want to awaken your confidence in a naturel and spontaneous way, then this’s where you need to invest your time and effort.
What do you think about the article ? let me know in the comment section below
YASSINE BARNAOUI is a freelancer, Blogger and life coach specializing in self-help (self-improvement) & a health coach in Nutrition. Originally a biologist with a Master’s degree in health and nutrition from the science faculty in Tetuan Morocco, he’s a neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) practitioner and holds a technical certificate in Computer Management. He was able to successfully coach dozens of people. He lives in Morroco. Read More…