N.B: The following techniques will help you gain confidence. But keep in mind, that they can be situational. Gaining confidence needs a deeper and more structured work on yourself. Read these articles to have a better understanding.
In order to be successful in life, self-confidence is necessary.
No more long therapy sessions for months!
What you’re not gonna do after reading this this article is sit for hours with a psychiatrist or psychotherapist in their office unpacking everything that’s on your mind. Neither are you going to attend a coach’s seminar and take notes. It’s not going to make you feel confident! You need IMMEDIATE ACTION!
But wait a minute, Yassine. Why are you saying it doesn’t work?
Because with simple advice like: be optimistic, avoid stress and open up about your childhood, we are solely communicating with your conscious mind. Nevertheless, we are not dealing with the subconscious mind, a.k.a your hidden treasure. The conscious mind only represents 10%. Communicating with it helps you become conscious of the problem. It also helps you understand it and to be better informed, but the real work is on the subconscious level.
And I don’t mean all those antidepressant and antianxiety drugs your psychiatrist prescribes, which makes matters worse, but were given to you anyways because you insisted. I am not referring to listening to motivational music neither am I referring to dressing for success. I mean real remedies!
Our objective is to make the unconscious conscious, and the conscious unconscious!
Here, I share with you few successful and revolutionary techniques which I tested on myself and my clients. I choose them from dozens of other techniques.
CONFIDENCE AND THE COUE METHOD :
Emile Coue was a French pharmacist who went by the alias « the happiness seller ». He was very passionate about chemistry. Emile took quick notice of the influence pharmacists have on patients’ recovery. He did no limit himself to the apothecary role; rather he developed his method gradually.
Coue method is the original affirmations/self-suggestions, as we know them today.
The Coue method principle is very simple: every thought that repeats itself so many times penetrates the unconscious and becomes a belief- whatever the idea is! The unconscious does not resist it.
For example, what if I ask you to imagine a red elephant? What’s happen now?
You already did!
And what if I say: imagine anything you want, except a red elephant.
You imagined it once again! 😉
There you go. The unconscious does not resist any idea. Negation isn’t even part of its programming…. This is the essence of the Coue method.
However, many people know about the power of the mind on the material realm. The old Egyptians used the power of the subconscious, and named it “mental magic”. I gotta admit that in the beginning, I was skeptical when I heard about the idea of programing my subconscious with a specific objective. However, I decided to give it a shot. At the time, I told myself, “You’ve got nothing to lose!”
Everything changed within 21 days of affirmations, 10 minutes each morning and evening, using my phone and well-chosen phrases. I invite all “open” minds, to try it before evaluating. Too good to be true? Try it and you will see.
For 21 days (which is the minimum period for the subconscious to integrate an idea/taught) you’re going to have two recording sessions of 10 minutes each once a day. This could be in the office, in your house; in your car … anywhere you want. Try to record all of your affirmations on your phone, with your OWN VOICE. Listen to your recordings using your headphones. Repeat the process during 21 days nonstop.
Do me a favor, make sure those 21 days are consecutive. Don’t listen to them every 2 or 3 days then come to me after 21 days and tell me that it didn’t work.
Exemples of self-affirmations :
« I’m 100% confident; I have a high self-esteem »
« I live in the present moment 100%, I enjoy it, and the future is full of great surprises »
« I do whatever it takes to achieve my objectives »
2. SELF-HYPNOSIS AND SELF-CONFIDENCE :
“I was focused like a cat fixed on the hole in the wall where a mouse was resting.”
Self-hypnosis is an incredible method; it could be practiced for different motives: calming extreme pain, changing negatives ideas, relaxation, and also having self-confidence.
Self-hypnosis means becoming extremely concentrated and bringing yourself into the process while nurturing yourself with positive affirmations about being confident.
The English word “hypnotism” was introduced in 1841 by the Scottish physician and surgeon James Braid. He first used “self-hypnotism” two years after discovering hypnotism, first teaching it to his clients before employing it on himself.
It was used for the first time in 1778 by Franz Anton Mesmer, the founder of animal magnetism, which, in turn, led to the present technique of hypnosis. Mesmer successfully cured himself of a condition he described as a blockage in the lower part of his body.
Here are the steps for self-hypnosis:
Find a comfortable area to relax
Relax by doing the following: relax your muscle, let your breathing slow-down and your eyes become heavy. You are in Trance state: it’s a state of semi-consciousness where you are not self-aware.
Try to go back to your normal level of alertness
3. MEDITATION AND SELF-CONFIDENCE:
Meditation is the central practice of Buddhism. Its classic technique dates back to thousands of years, and its origin is still debatable to this day. Meditation helps in bringing peace to your mind, giving you energy, and helps you live in the present moment. It can also help you focus and redirect your thoughts.
You can use it to increase awareness of yourself and your surroundings. Many people think of it as a way to reduce stress and develop concentration.
Lay in a plank position. Palms faced up. Breathe through your stomach not your chest. Focus on your breathing from your stomach (solar plexus). When you inhale, keep three seconds before you exhale. Repeat this for a few moments. Next, inhale and keep your breath for 5 seconds.
Repeat this for a few moments. Breathe in. Inhale and maintain your breath for 10 seconds. Each time increase the amount of seconds before you let your breath go on the exhale. Eventually, you will only be focused on your breath. If you’d like, you can bring the breath up to your throat and release it from there. Like a light roar. Hold your breath for the same amount of seconds.
You can later bring the breath to your nostrils. To do this, focus your breath by visualizing the air-stream between your eyes. In this entire process of breathing from the stomach to the crown of your head you are in a meditative state. Focus only on breath.
Reiki is a spiritual energetic healing practice meant to carry balance to the human system. The word “Reiki” implies “mysterious atmospheres and miraculous signs.” It comes from the Japanese words “rei” meaning universal and “ki” meaning life energy.
It started in Japan in the late 1800’s and it’s based on the transference of universal energy from the practitioner’s palms to their patient’s body. The objective is to get rid of energy blocks and improve the flow of energy around the body. You can receive Reiki treatments from a either a professional healer, or you can learn it yourself. It can help in relaxation, pain reduction and bringing self-confidence. At the end of the day, confidence is a positive energy. Any work with energy will release what blocks your confidence.
5. ERICKSONIEN HYPNOSIS:
Ericksonien hypnosis is a powerful technique to gain self-confidence.
Dr. Milton H. Erickson was a famous and remarkable psychiatrist who established a new approach to hypnosis. This approach is what we now call Ericksonian hypnosis.
Erickson adapted his approach to each client’s personality and needs. Sometimes he would use hypnosis in a conversational way that most people would not necessarily recognize it. He was known for his ability to “use” anything about a patient to his favor. This included their beliefs, use of words, cultural background, personal history, or even their habits. He believed that the unconscious mind was creative, often positive and could find its own solutions for presenting problems.
He would construct stories that were multi-layered, entertaining the conscious mind on one level but with concealed meanings that would work beneath the surface with the subconscious mind.
Milton Erickson’s work has inspired many areas of therapy today, including neuro-linguistic programming (NLP). Founders Richard Bandler and John Grindler studied Erickson’s style in depth and incorporated many of his inductions and communication skills into their NLP set, naming the Milton Model in honor of this revolutionary therapist.
6. CREATIVE VISUALIZATION :
The unconscious doesn’t make any difference between what’s real and what’s imaginary.
When you decide to take an exam and you feel stressed, you usually imagine the worst possible scenario. The more you imagine the more you feel stressed, right? That’s the concentration principle.
So when exam-day comes, you find yourself staring at the exam sheet. Feeling like aliens kidnapped you and erased your memory. Like all those all-nighters and dozens of cups of black coffee were worth nothing. And it’s exactly the scenario you imagined it to be. One more time, the unconscious won!
But this time we are going to flip the script. We are going to try to reverse this process through a positive scenario.
The first thing would be to imagine a situation where you would love to feel confident.
For example, in the case that you have a job interview, try to imagine the interview. It’s important that you imagine it as if it’s happening NOW and not in the future.
Try to activate 5 senses: for example the smell of the office, the voice of the recruiter, the image of the office with details, imagine your body language, being confident while smiling, your answers are calm with pauses. Imagine the recruiter congratulating you at the end to announce that you got the job.
Do this exercise for a week, at least once before you go to sleep. It’s extremely powerful.
Now, that you know all the techniques that will help you work on your confidence, you have no excuse!
If you like this article, please share it with your friends, so they can benefit from those incredible techniques!
YASSINE BARNAOUI is a freelancer, Blogger and certified life coach specializing in self-help (self-improvement) and a health coach in Nutrition. Originally a biologist with a Master’s degree in health and nutrition from the science faculty in Tetuan Morocco, he’s a neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) practitioner and he holds a technical certificate in Computer Management. He was able to successfully coach dozens of people. Read More…